35 miles in, I made a choice

ByShannon Keegan

Hit Reset

I gave up.

That’s the thought I couldn’t shake as waves crested over the bow on our boat ride back to the marina—25 hours after I’d first pushed off into Lake Memphremagog.

What does it mean to not finish—again?

I had pushed off into a headwind at 3 PM the day before with 50 miles ahead of me. Through the night, I swam under stars, imagining I was playing tag with the boat, warmed by lemon ginger tea and imagining that I was snuggling with my kids. Eventually the wind shifted to give me a nice push, and not long after sunrise I touched the beach in Magog—halfway there.

But after the turn that nice push became a relentless headwind that slowed my progress to a crawl. Sometime after noon my stroke rate dropped and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t get it up. I started counting how many strokes it took to pass the houses that lined the shore—just to prove I was moving forward. As the sun began its descent and I felt the chill of 20+ hours in sub 70F water creeping in, with 15 miles still to go, I made the call to hit reset and end the swim.

On that boat ride back, I was grateful to finally be with my crew rather than slogging in the fight against the wind. But even after years of practicing presence and letting go of outcomes, that old voice still whispered: You didn’t push hard enough. You could have kept going.

But here’s what I’ve come to understand about challenges that push us to our limits: There’s a kind of challenge that matters less for whether you finish and more for who you become along the way. A rite of passage. A journey to the edge of what you know is possible.

By that measure, the swim had served its purpose.

I didn’t finish the distance, but I did learn. I leaned into my crew’s support and expressed gratitude every time I remembered. I shared what was happening for me at each feed. I faced relentless headwinds with grace. And I remembered that disappointment is often the doorway to growth.

That’s what Swimbound is about—setting goals not for the achievement itself, but for the transformation along the way. It’s about pursuing challenge with presence and purpose.

We’re taught that quitting is failure, that real champions push through no matter what. But sometimes hitting reset isn’t giving up. It’s wisdom.

If you’d like to read more details about the swim, keep an eye out for the full blog post on my website.

Next year, we’re going even deeper—not by adding more yards, but by stripping away everything that gets in the way of presence, trust, and joy in the water. If you feel called to your own transformative challenge, book a SwimBound Discovery Call to explore what’s possible.

Hope to see you in the water, or online soon,

Shannon

P.S. What’s your relationship with “not finishing”? I’d love to hear about a time you hit reset…

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