Do you have trouble asking for help?

ByShannon Keegan

Sink or Swim: The Art of Asking for Help

I spent months putting off requesting a meeting with our local small business development center. Once I finally swallowed my pride and asked for help, I was immediately met with support and guidance.

Is it just me, or does everyone have trouble asking for help?

My history of avoidance runs deep. In high school, I dodged guidance counselors preparing for college. Even now, walking into a building to ask for help feels daunting. Picking up the phone requires digging deep into my courage coffers.

Thankfully, online appointments exist. But even then, making an appointment with a Physical Therapist for my back discomfort took nearly a year. After that first appointment? A clear set of exercises that put me on the road to relief.

Why is it so hard?

The recurring theme in my thinking: I should figure it out. I can figure it out. I can find the answer on my own.

It turns out, I’m not alone in this. 73% of people don’t seek help until they’re absolutely desperate. And 13% never ask for help at all.

Why do we struggle to ask for help?

Was I taught that independence is a sign of strength?

Am I afraid of what people will think?

Did I have a bad experiences where my request for assistance was dismissed or ignored?

Or perhaps that my questions will expose my naiveté?

And yet, the cost of struggling for weeks, months, or years is far greater than the time it takes to summon the courage to ask for help.

Water as Teacher

Fighting through life alone is like fighting the water – it only makes things harder!

Helping people work with the water is what I do.

But in life? I still act like I have to fight for the answers.

Maybe, like swimming, people don’t even know they’re fighting?

Sometimes, I don’t even know what my question is until I talk to someone. Connection unfolds the path forward. The person I reach out to doesn’t have to know the answer—I just have to trust that reaching out will reveal something I couldn’t have uncovered alone.

Surendering to the water’s support mirrors trusting others to help us.

The Magic of Reaching Out

Over the years, I’ve realized that the farther I want to swim, the more help I need. A boat. Someone to captain. Someone to feed me. A coach to guide me. Training partners to help me prepare. An observer to document the swim.

Every big swim requires me to ask for help. And each time, my confidence grows, my connections deepen, and my gratitude expands.

And so too, in life – I’m learning – have the courage to start, don’t expect that I know all of the answers, ask for help, ask questions. It’s a work in progress.

The Truth

No one—and I mean no one—succeeds entirely on their own. We are wired for connection. We grow through support.

Let’s make asking for help our new superpower. What’s one thing you’re struggling with right now that you’ve been too proud to ask about? Pose your question at The Water’s Edge. In community we thrive.

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